Emma Bean

It is SUCH a joy to be a mother. I still can't believe that I am a mother..... weird!

Our little one brings so much happiness into our lives, it's so hard to put into words just how happy Jamison and I are to have her around. And frankly, we don't really remember what life was like without her. It feels like she's always been around.

Goodness I love her so much! I can't wait to see her grow and develop, and learn and play. We are so anxious to hear her little laugh for the first time. She already smiles ALL the time. (melts my heart every time).

In every single ultrasound we had of Emma she had her hands in her face in some way or another, and we secretly hoped she'd keep that habit once she was born, and she definitely has! She loves putting her hands in her face, especially when she sleeps. Here are a couple of recent pictures of her. I will jot down little habits and such in a later post. It's time to put my little angel to bed...so I'm off for now! :) :)

MY Emma Girl

She's here!

And is 2 weeks old today. :D

*warning...lots of details here...I want to have this to remember everything.*

The Tuesday before Emma was born (11/1/11) we had a doctor's appointment. According to the doctor her due date was that day...according to her measurements and ultrasound, her due date was 10/29/11.

3 weeks prior to the 11/1/11 appt. we had our last ultrasound wherein the technician said Emma weighed about 7 pounds already. This worried my doctor a lot. Throughout the entire pregnancy he expressed his concern that I wouldn't be able to deliver Emma vaginally because I have a small build. So, he recommended either *trying* to deliver vaginally by inducing, or going into it with a scheduled c-section.

I opted to avoid a c-section at all costs..so at our 11/1/11 appt we scheduled the induction for 3 days later, on Friday the 4th at 9am. The doctor was pretty confident that even my induction would result in a c-section. My nerves were all over the place to say the least....

So, Friday came, we arrived at the hospital a few minutes late, and got going with the induction. After getting me all hooked up to the IV's, the nurses gave me a pill and told me to wait. They said contractions shouldn't start with the pill, but would come later after giving me pitocin. BUT...I was definitely having contractions with the pill...so, early labor had begun. My contractions were irregular and inconsistent for the next 12 hours, so I knew we'd be at the hospital for quite some time. After giving me a second pill ( yucky) AND a (as my doctor called it) barbie girl tampon (haha), the doctor noticed little improvement, though the pain had definitely increased...so he gave me a sleeping pill and told me to rest throughout the night. The sleeping pill didn't work (but not much of anything they gave me worked...seriously), and the contractions continued, so it was a pretty long night.

By this point....I was READY to be done. haha....

The next day, Saturday, at noon the doctor decided to start with pitocin, and to start it pretty strong. He had noticed that any medications they were giving me weren't really effective, so he up-ed the pitocin so we could really get things going.

The next 9 hours and 34 minutes were not my favorite. The anesthesiologist came in when I was about 6 cm dilated and gave me an epidural. It didn't work. :( He ended up giving me a total of 4 doses, and I still felt all the pain and the intense urge to push. {It's the worst thing in the world to have the urge to push and to be told not to. } Emma's heart beat kept dipping with each contraction, which worried the doctor (and Emma's mommy) immensely. At one point my obgyn came in and told me that it was looking like we'd do a c-section because of Emma's heart beat. He said he'd monitor closely and if she had another big dip (one of the dips went from a 150 down to 60) we'd go back to the OR. I was heartbroken to say the very least. But, it motivated me to do everything possible to make sure her heart beat didn't dip again. So I focused in remaining calm during contractions (at least, as calm as I could be) so my body wouldn't tense up, thus, so Emma wouldn't tense up.


The time *finally* came for the doctor to step in and help us bring our baby girl into the world. And we were going to try vaginally. :)

I was SO glad when they told me to push. But, with every push, Emma's heart beat dropped. I saw the look in my doctor's eyes, a look I hope to forget. But, with a lot of silent prayers, and a couple of hard pushes later, my daughter was born.
The doctor later told me that we almost lost her. We almost lost my baby girl. It makes my heart sink just thinking about how that was a possibility.

My body took a beating with the delivery, and it took just under 2 hours of surgery to fix me up. And the nurses had taken Emma to the NICU just seconds after she was born, since she had some dips in her heartbeats. I didn't get to hold my baby girl until 4 hours after her birth, just before 2am...and it was a moment I will not soon forget.

Daddy with Emma :)

I couldn't believe how tiny she was. We were told she'd be just under 9 pounds, and my baby was 6 pounds 11 oz....um...the ultrasound techs were off. haha. The first thing I thought of when the nurse handed Emma to me was that she was like a little doll. Tiny tiny! Her pictures make her look big, but she really is so small.

From first sight I fell so deep in love with Emma, and that love just continues to grow every day. I love to see her facial expressions (she's got lots! haha), I love to hear every little sound she makes, and to hold her close to me and know that she is mine. She is such a blessing in our lives, and Jamison and I are so grateful, and SO in love.

False alarm.

I am 38 weeks along on Saturday, and am READY to have my little one in my arms. Jamison and I dream about delivery and the days following our baby's birth SO frequently, that we often wake up thinking it was real and she's in her bassinet right beside our bed. I know most first-time mommies take a while to have their babies, but at our most recent appointment, last Thursday, the doctor said that my body is really getting ready, and it could really be anyday now.

Exciting!!

Yesterday I got to work in the early am, already having had contractions throughout the night, and feeling super tight in my belly area. I told Jay when he work up that I was definitely feeling really different - a feeling I had not felt my entire pregnancy - and that she could be on her way soon. :) I figured, why stay at home with these yucky contractions. I might as well go to work and stay distracted.

By the time I got off work at 2pm, I. was. done. I had had contractions all morning. From 10am to 11am they were about 10 minutes apart and lasting for about 1 minute each. Then, 11am hit and they were not as frequent, and not as intense. I was VERY bummed. I mean, they hurt like crazy, but it meant progress, which is something I'm ready for. There's going to be pain at one point, and I'd prefer it to be sooner than later.

Nothing else happened the rest of the night, though I went for a number of walks throughout the day, hoping to get those contractions going again, and I even bounced on my exercise ball, hoping the baby would get the message and just pop that dang water bag already! :D But, nothing.

I've had a few contractions here and there today, but nothing like yesterday. I still feel a tight sensation in the belly region, and some pain in my lower back...but, again, nothing that would make me believe it's time to go to the hospital.

Next doctor's appointment is tomorrow at 5pm...and I'm HOPING for some good news. Jamison and I (not to mention the rest of our family) are beyond ready for her to be here. We're ready to greet our little angel, and see her little face. Exciting times!!!

Wish me luck. :)

P.S. Amanda McKee, my best friend since we were about 1 year old, took some maternity pictures about 2 weeks ago...so I'm EXCITED to see those! Everything's going great. Life is still as hectic as ever...but we're loving every precious minute we have together as a family, and are ready to tackle the ups and downs of parenthood! :)

Getting ready

Random and unorganized thoughts today. I mostly just want to remember what we're doing these last weeks before the baby comes, and this is the easiest way to do so. Sorry, no pictures this time, I'm at work and my camera's at home. I'll post some soon.

My sweet Emma girl is almost here, which terrifies and excites me. I shouldn't have left all the big stuff, like getting her room ready, to the last minute because now I spend maybe 20 minutes tops organizing her closet, and then I have to take a nap or stop to catch my breath. My body's winding down and getting ready, and there's nothing I can do to stop it!

Sleep is a foreign word to me. Skinny is no longer in my vocabulary, and hasn't been for the past 5 months or so. sad. but worth it.

Life is hectic, with Jamison back in school and working, and I'm juggling two jobs until my chunky legs just can't take it anymore. There's never enough time in the day to get everything done and then have time to just sit and be together. BUT, we did manage to get the basic necessities for our little one, and it makes her arrival all the more real to me.

We were SO blessed to find a gorgeous bassinet on Craigslist. One that normally sells for around $300, and the sellers gave us an incredible deal - $75! Cheaper than any bassinet at BabiesR'Us. And believe me, I checked. We went to pick it up and they ended up giving us a matching bouncer. Jay and I love them both, they're in excellent condition and the best part is the color scheme works for both boys and girls, so we're set with that!

We're slowly but surely getting everything in order. But having her little bed set up, her clothes hanging in her closet, her car seat ready and waiting for her..... I'm REALLY starting to get excited. I can't believe this is really happening. I'm, in all honesty, not good enough to be a mommy. I definitely don't feel worthy to be the caretaker and nurturer to this sweet little angel of mine.

Gosh, such a whirlwind of emotions and thoughts.

On Saturday we'll be 32 weeks. We've got 2 prepared childbirth classes these next 2 Saturdays, along with a tour of the hospital. I've got a doctor's visit in 2 weeks, and another one 2 weeks after that....then, she can come at any time. She can be here in a matter of weeks!

We're already looking forward to our first Thanksgiving with her, and Christmas! Oh joy! It will be the best Christmas yet. :) I can't wait.

I love watching Jamison in all his excitement. He is thrilled to be having a girl. We go to the store to get groceries now, and his first stop is ALWAYS the baby girl section. He sings to her all the time, and has his own little conversations with her. It makes me fall in love with him all over again every time I see how he interacts with her, or talks about her with such love in his eyes, or grabs my belly suddenly because he "just HAS" to tell her something right away.

And watching my family's excitement about their first grand-baby is another joy altogether. Words can't describe.

I'm loving this time in our lives. We are all anxiously waiting for the weeks to pass so we can see her precious face, and kiss her and hold her. Oh the excitement! For now... I guess I'll just keep getting ready. :)

I'll post about our 1 year anniversary soon!

*Did I mention I'm the luckiest girl alive?*

24 weeks and counting

So we've hit the 24 week mark already. Last Saturday actually, so we're just about at 25. That means we're at 6 months, also known as our 3rd trimester (!!!). My little lady and I have 3 months left *roughly* until her due date. How excited am I?

There are NO words.

She's excited too! Kicking ALL the time. LOVE!!

So, here we are. Not the best pictures because they were taken on my ipod, but they're something.

20 weeks/ 5 months

24 weeks/6 months

We have picked a name and call her by it all the time. And I've told just about anyone that has asked me what her name is, but I still can't bring myself to announce it on fb or the blog. Oh well....it'll be posted as soon as her first little "outside mommy" pictures are up in Oct/Nov.

I am HAPPY. :)

I'm in heaven.

sigh. I always go too long without writing on here. But here we go, a few months later. he he

I LOVEE being pregnant! And I HATE being pregnant! contradicting myself much? I'll explain...

I LOVE:

*feeling my little angel kick and squirm and do all the little things she does while she chills in the belly.

*imagining how much bigger she gets each time I take a belly picture and compare it with the past to see how much bigger I'm getting.

*seeing other people smile as soon as they see my monster of a belly....it makes me all happy inside.

*being married and being pregnant. What would I do without my J-boy?

*being pampered and fussed over... That might sound weird. But it I laugh everytime someone fusses over me, and it makes me happy...knowing that they care enough to help me take care of my body and all that it's doing.

*knowing that there's a little someone with me all the time! Oh how i love that!

*smiling waking up in the morning to the feel of her kicking me to wake me up. She's realized that i ignore my alarm for as long as possible, so now she'll kick to get me up, and she'll KEEP kicking until I actually get out of bed. love loveee

*seeing her cute little outfits hanging up in my closet.

*making her little rings and jewelry...I get so excited seeing how tiny everything is! Oh goodness...

*NOT feeling sick all day everyday anymore! SO glad that's over. It was yucky. :(

I HATE (0r stronglyyy dislike...)

*Not sleeping on my belly.

*not being able to SEE my feet! that one is still weird to me..

*that my belly button is turning into an outie.

*being swollen absolutely everywhere! I refuse to post a picture of anything BUT my belly.

*NOT having my baby here already. That's the biggest one.

*that it will end soon... another contradiction.

*being tired ALL the time, and having such little sleep when I am able to have it.

There are more loves than hates, which I'm happy about. Not going to lie, being pregnant can be toughhh, but I am sooo excited for the outcome. My little one will be here soon...I'm in heaven.

My baby girl.

Last Thursday, the 12th, Jamison and I found out that we will be the mama and daddy to a beautiful baby girl!!!

I am SO in love.

I seriously thought our first baby was going to be a boy. I was so set on that thought that even while the ultrasound tech showed us the proof of a girl, I still sat there waiting for her to find a little extra something that a girl wouldn't be carrying.... but nope! :D It doesn't mean I didn't want a girl, on the contrary...I'm so freakin excited to dress her up in cute little outfits (bought her first one the day after finding out) and outnumber her daddy.

The 3 1/2 months leading up to knowing about my baby girl, I'd ask my J boy every so often about what he really wanted. He would ALWAYS respond with, "Whatever the Lord blesses us with". Though I love his perspective and comment...I wanted to know what he really truly wanted...never got a straight answer. ugh..

Until the night after the ultrasound.

As we sat in bed, smiles as wide as could be, thinking of our little lady growing in my belly, I looked at Jamison and whispered, "You wanted a girl, didn't you?" His eyes looked off and he stared at the wall for a moment, then whispered back with a smile that will always melt my heart, "yes." :) We are still finding ourselves smiling to ourselves in complete happiness, a week later.

Now's the waiting game. I hit 17 weeks tomorrow, so I still have about 5 months left (or more if I'm like my mother who had all her babies at 10 months...I'm praying NOW that that's not my fate). I can picture dressing my baby in adorable purples and pinks and ribbons and lace, but it kills me to not be able to see her little face yet!

She's due to arrive October 29th, and as I am NOT a fan of Halloween, I am also praying that she will come on an entirely different week, so we don't have to associate her birthday with that holiday at all. yucky!

I think I've rambled enough. I'm doing great now that my morning (all day) sickness continues to fade with each day, and am loving this cool weather and dreading the upcoming blistering summer days. My sweet Jamison talks to my belly every single day. He sings her to sleep at night, which actually really does calm her, and allows me to rest without her kicks hurting me. He tells her about how beautiful it is outside, asks her questions about her opinion on things, etc. He pretty much talks to my belly all the time now, which I will never stop loving!

She listens to him, and every time without fail has done as he has asked her to do..so i'm positive she's going to be such a fan of her daddy when she joins us in the fall. She will be daddy's girl all the way. And I LOVE it. :)

Here she is at her 10 week ultrasound. She looooves to cover her face with her hands!

My munchkin at 15 weeks (can you see her brain and heart? CUTE!)

Sucking her thumb! My heart is melting...

Here is a 3D of her. Putting her hands to her face again. :)

Here is the belly at 5 weeks. ( I miss those skinny days. I thought I was chubby then...boy was I wrong!!!)

Couldn't get this picture turned right. But here's the belly today, 1 day shy of 17 weeks.

Excited to have my baby girl!!!! :)