False alarm.

I am 38 weeks along on Saturday, and am READY to have my little one in my arms. Jamison and I dream about delivery and the days following our baby's birth SO frequently, that we often wake up thinking it was real and she's in her bassinet right beside our bed. I know most first-time mommies take a while to have their babies, but at our most recent appointment, last Thursday, the doctor said that my body is really getting ready, and it could really be anyday now.

Exciting!!

Yesterday I got to work in the early am, already having had contractions throughout the night, and feeling super tight in my belly area. I told Jay when he work up that I was definitely feeling really different - a feeling I had not felt my entire pregnancy - and that she could be on her way soon. :) I figured, why stay at home with these yucky contractions. I might as well go to work and stay distracted.

By the time I got off work at 2pm, I. was. done. I had had contractions all morning. From 10am to 11am they were about 10 minutes apart and lasting for about 1 minute each. Then, 11am hit and they were not as frequent, and not as intense. I was VERY bummed. I mean, they hurt like crazy, but it meant progress, which is something I'm ready for. There's going to be pain at one point, and I'd prefer it to be sooner than later.

Nothing else happened the rest of the night, though I went for a number of walks throughout the day, hoping to get those contractions going again, and I even bounced on my exercise ball, hoping the baby would get the message and just pop that dang water bag already! :D But, nothing.

I've had a few contractions here and there today, but nothing like yesterday. I still feel a tight sensation in the belly region, and some pain in my lower back...but, again, nothing that would make me believe it's time to go to the hospital.

Next doctor's appointment is tomorrow at 5pm...and I'm HOPING for some good news. Jamison and I (not to mention the rest of our family) are beyond ready for her to be here. We're ready to greet our little angel, and see her little face. Exciting times!!!

Wish me luck. :)

P.S. Amanda McKee, my best friend since we were about 1 year old, took some maternity pictures about 2 weeks ago...so I'm EXCITED to see those! Everything's going great. Life is still as hectic as ever...but we're loving every precious minute we have together as a family, and are ready to tackle the ups and downs of parenthood! :)

Buddy

Benjamin is my buddy.

When he was about 2 years old he moved out of my parents bedroom, and came to be my sleeping buddy. Around that age, he was a late-nighter...he LOVED to stay up after everyone was asleep and watch Disney movies. But he was scared to be up all by himself--he usually stayed up til about 2 in the morning--so I'd leave my door open in case he got nervous, or wanted to crawl into bed with relative ease. One night, I was asleep in my bed and I had that feeling that someone was watching me, so I opened my eyes, and there was that little 2 year old buddy of mine sitting quietly on the head of my pillow, just above me, and he was just watching me as he had his legs criss-crossed and smiled ever so sweetly. It was one of those moments that you NEVER forget. He could've done anything at that point, made a mess in the living room, peed his pants, ANYTHING and I would've been soo happy helping him clean it up...just because of the way I awoke to him sitting there. Obviously at 2, little ones are still learning to talk, so I asked him what was wrong, and he said in his little voice that the movie had ended. I checked the clock- about 1:30am - and then asked him if he was done or if he wanted to watch another movie. "Another movie" was his answer, so I got up and helped put another on, and within minutes he was fast asleep, and as I carried him to our little room I couldn't help but think, "PLEASE let him stay this way forever."

Things never stay the same, we always change, and we keep moving forward. But one thing that DID stay the same is his sweet and loving personality. I wouldn't be the least surprised if one morning I woke up to him sitting there again at the head of my pillow, gently and patiently waiting for me to wake. I asked that he stay that way forever, not being specific. He grew in years, and is now 11 years old...but his heart remains the same. He is the most beautiful boy I've ever known, and ANYONE that knows Benjamin---REALLY knows him---would say the same. He has such a tender heart, and is loving and fair with everyone. He is our Angel.

Benjamin remained my sleeping buddy throughout the years, up until the very end, up until a couple of days before my wedding. Because we have been so close through the years, I will always have an extra special place in my heart for that little one. And I will always remember that day, oh so many years ago...when I awoke from a deep sleep, and saw... an Angel.